In today’s tech-savvy world, there are zillion ways to connect: email, phone, text message, FaceTime. If you’re looking for a real relationship, then it’s time to start communicating in the right way with the right tool.
Tone of voice cannot be read in a text-only communication. This means that your brain is filling in the blanks about the intended tone behind the words you read. It’s simply too easy to create a fantasy relationship without really knowing what’s going on with the person on the other end. All too often you misread what was written and create severe miscommunication, wreaking havoc on your relationships.
Taking the time to learn communication skills will pay off you in all areas of your life, at any age. You can say anything to anyone, but it’s all in how you say it.
When we meet someone, we teach them how to treat us. We can do this consciously or unconsciously.
If you’re dating and looking to get into a committed relationship, then text messaging is great for one kind of communication only: logistics. Such as, “I’m on my way downstairs,” “Meet me in the coffee shop,” or, “I’m running 10 minutes late.”
But relationships can go awry due to miscommunication via email and text messages. How do you fix that? Simple: stop sending them. Request the kind of communication you prefer. Instead of texting, request that your date call you instead. This way, you can quickly weed out the guys who aren’t serious about a relationship.
This doesn’t apply if you’re simply having fun and aren’t looking to settle into a relationship. The current hookup culture is catering to guys who desire sex, and nothing more. If you want more, then it’s up to you to settle for nothing less; the guy who likes you and wants a relationship with you will step up and pursue it.
Young women in particular want to be pursued and wooed, yet they’re the ones doing all the work, leaving no room for the guy to do any of the pursuing. The right guy will step up for you and want to please you. If you believe that this kind of men doesn’t exist, you must first shift that limiting belief and re-claim your self-esteem.
Limiting your text communication is beneficial in every relationship stage, from first date through 40 years of marriage. It’s never a good idea to text how you feel, or text a novel over to someone where you’re holding your breath for a response.
So if you’re truly interested in creating a relationship and not just having another hookup, sweetly let that guy know that you want him to call you if he wants to see you. Once you make your desired form of communication known, ignore the texts asking, “Want to hang out sometime?”